A two-piece slam-fire shotgun consisting of a barrel pipe and a receiver pipe — the barrel slides into the receiver, and slamming the barrel backward drives the shell onto a fixed firing pin, discharging the round. The Loudmouth fires 12-gauge shotshells without any trigger, safety, or mechanical complexity — the firing mechanism is the operator's arm slamming two pipes together. Reload is performed by sliding the barrel forward, extracting the spent shell, inserting a new one, and slamming again.

The Loudmouth is the most powerful weapon that can be built with zero skill and near-zero materials. Two pipes of the right diameter, a bolt for a firing pin, and an endcap welded or threaded onto the receiver pipe. Total cost: Φ8. Total engineering: none. The weapon fires full-power 12-gauge ammunition — buckshot, slug, whatever the operator can acquire — with all the authority that implies. At 5 meters, a 12-gauge buckshot round from a Loudmouth is identical in lethality to a round from a Φ3,000 combat shotgun.

The weapon's slam-fire mechanism means there is no trigger discipline — the round fires when the operator pushes the barrel home, and the timing of that push is affected by adrenaline, fear, and the chaos of whatever situation requires a pipe shotgun. Accidental discharges are common. The weapon has no safety because there is nothing to put a safety on. It is a pipe that converts forward motion into a dead person.